Heya! Thanks for applying! The rest of it looks good, but we have a question about one of the points brought up in the application.
In the history section, you say that Elliot was severely injured, but then in the AU Deviation, there is a line that reads, "He was very dismissive of his sister's friend's death due to what happened to him in the Old City." We assume that this means Elliot died from his injuries. Is this what you intend to have happened in the backstory?
If this is correct, we would like you to make note that while the accidental death would not be something that Logan would be blamed for, there would be repercussions for this occurrence. Logan would be monitored constantly for a significant length of time to ensure that he can properly control his Pokemon. Additionally, he would be required to participate in mandatory training sessions. Causing a death in Union is a serious enough issue that it would not be completely overlooked.
We are also slightly concerned that you write that the character is an essentially good person, but doesn't care at all that he accidentally killed someone. This doesn't seem to be congruent. Could you elaborate on why Logan wouldn't care that he killed someone? You say it was due to the incident in the Old City, but if anything, we feel this would make him more sensitive to having harmed or killed another human being.
Revision Request!
In the history section, you say that Elliot was severely injured, but then in the AU Deviation, there is a line that reads, "He was very dismissive of his sister's friend's death due to what happened to him in the Old City." We assume that this means Elliot died from his injuries. Is this what you intend to have happened in the backstory?
If this is correct, we would like you to make note that while the accidental death would not be something that Logan would be blamed for, there would be repercussions for this occurrence. Logan would be monitored constantly for a significant length of time to ensure that he can properly control his Pokemon. Additionally, he would be required to participate in mandatory training sessions. Causing a death in Union is a serious enough issue that it would not be completely overlooked.
We are also slightly concerned that you write that the character is an essentially good person, but doesn't care at all that he accidentally killed someone. This doesn't seem to be congruent. Could you elaborate on why Logan wouldn't care that he killed someone? You say it was due to the incident in the Old City, but if anything, we feel this would make him more sensitive to having harmed or killed another human being.